Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
