After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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