I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
