Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
