Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
