Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
