Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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