I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
