i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I am one with the molecules
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
