i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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