I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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