How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
