Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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