Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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