Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize