Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
