That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize