If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
