After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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