You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
