just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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