i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
