i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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