Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Holy shit dude........stairs
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
