The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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