Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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