wakey wakey hands off snakey
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
love makes seman taste better
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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