Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
