we're making bets on your personal life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
