come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
