alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
