This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
