wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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