i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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