Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
