i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just want to make out with him forever
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize