He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
