we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
