Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize