i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
