what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
