the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
