am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize