office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize