I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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