a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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