32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
