So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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