yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
