Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize