He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
