You smell like a Billy Joel song
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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