we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize