I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
