I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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