I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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