Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
