the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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