I'm sorry my penis didn't work
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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