Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
