My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize